Wonderings on Grey Days and Grey Cygnets

Yesterday I had one of my mini-meltdowns.  Every now and again I have a grey day.  A day when something happens that makes me believe that I’m a long way off living the kind of life that I would like to lead, and don’t really seem to be getting any closer to it.  A day where I’m reminded that every morning I get up and sit in traffic to get to a cold grey office where I look at spreadsheets and organise e-mails.  Whereas, what I’d prefer to be doing is getting up, spending my day in more pleasurable surroundings (ie my home) and creating beautiful things, these could be anything from growing plants in the garden, making cakes, painting or attempting to sew colourful beads onto a piece of lace.

Now I know that life isn’t just about pretty things or doing what you want all the time.  However, I do believe that as short as life is, you should aim to spend the majority of time doing the things that you love and the idea that my life doesn’t appear to be going in the right direction is what causes these grey days.  However once the tears are over I reassess and realisation dawns that I’m not as far away as it seems.  I have already done 1 art course this year and am hoping to start another in July, this time on digital art.  Chris and I have made an attempt to start self-sufficiency with a few plants and as bad as leaving the house every morning is, coming home is just wonderful.

This musing leads me on to something that might be grey but is in no way the bringer of misery.  On Saturday we went to Elvaston Castle, a gorgeous park in Derbyshire.  I wandered off on my own for a few minutes and came across two beautiful swans lying in a sea of daisies.  Gasping at such a beautiful sight I took out my camera and slowly started walking a little closer, mindful not to get to close as I didn’t want to scare them.  As I got closer I realised that the swans were guarding a very precious secret, a little cygnet lay just in front of them.  I managed to get a couple of photographs and then left the little family to their sun-bathing in the daisies.

How could I possibly stay miserable when all around there are reminders of how beautiful the world is.